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So far the honeymoon phase hasn't shifted since I've gotten back. If anything, I just keep realizing how much I appreciate my country. I'm so incredibly grateful for the family, friends, and opportunities that I have here. But on top of that I don't think it would be as good as it is now if I didn't go through the hardships I went through on my exchange.
Even though I still have some problems thinking about everything that happened to me and some of the difficult people I had to deal with, I wouldn't have come to the point I'm at without it. I'm now able to have a deeper understanding as to why people act the way they do and how to deal with them. I've come to a point where I can just ignore it because no matter how bad something gets here, it's nothing worse than what I've already seen.
I've also realized that not every wrong-doing gets justice. Some people may not have seen direct consequences to their actions, the consequence in that case is just them being unable to grow spiritually. In my opinion, everyone needs to have something thrown back at them to grow into a better person. People need to learn from their mistakes, and if they don't then the result will only lead to their downfall or an unfulfillment of what we need to develop. I've also realized, its not my problem. I only need to focus on myself. I can't keep dwelling on other peoples decisions unless it is directly effecting me, or someone I care about.
It all works out in the end, and if it doesn't, then who'll know? We'll be too busy with ourselves to think about if someone got what they needed in the end. All you can do is fight in the moment and for the future.
That's exactly what I've been doing since I've been home. I'm not forgetting what happened to me, but I'm letting it go and taking what I can't let go and am learning from it. It's so so hard to not see light shed on a situation, but you have to fight harder to understand why the world works that way.
In the meantime, surround yourself with what makes yourself happy, even if you aren't always. There will be times people will just try to attack you and make you feel bad, but thats their problem. In most cases it's all due to jealousy, and jealousy can often stray away from the truth. We all just need to work on understanding, not just knowing, but understanding on a deeper level so we can remain unbothered in these situations.
I've been good at home and even though there aren't many changes on the outside, I can feel all of the change I endured on the inside.
